Wednesday, July 24, 2013


I fainted last night...I became unconscious before I hit the ground, and since I was unconscious, I didn't use my hands to catch my face broke my fall and I broke my nose.

I woke up around 4am, wanted water, felt dizzy and woozy, got a cup, everything got blurry and I crashed to the floor and dropped my cup.

I assumed it was dehydration, since drinking water has never been something I'm good at it, but I really have been trying to get better. I was still woozy and fatigued and went to the hospital and they did urine analysis tests and blood tests and EKG test. Basically, everything looked fine. Except everything that had to do with stress, as seen in the blood work, were really high. Doc said it definitely wasn't dehydration and they don't really know what caused the unconsciousness.

I have an appointment with a nose specialist to see about my nose. It doesn't seem like too bad of a break, so hopefully it'll heal normally and everything will be fine.

Earlier this week, a colleague told me I was becoming a workaholic and getting addicted to work and working too hard and too much. I told her, I'm not doing real work, I'm fine. My mom and best friend have been worried about me lately. And then this happens.

In June, I worked 3 jobs, working 80 hours a week. Now, I'm working two jobs, working about 60 hours a week. I have a laundry list of things I'm legitimately stressed about and concerned about. Now that I've fainted, broke my nose, was rendered unconscious, spent my morning in the ER, am still woozy, I'm not really sure what to do.

In college, my supervisors would "ground me" and not let me do work because they thought I was working too hard and too much. I don't know how to not do this. I like work. I enjoy it. I've clearly chosen work over everything else. I know this. It gave me a clear understanding and guidelines for my life. Now, I don't know what to do with myself.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Ash! Your work ethic has always been incredible, thus it doesn't surprise me to hear how much you've been working. Fainting/ breaking your nose is alarming, though... :/ If you need something to fill your time when you're taking a break from work, I'm here to talk! :) And I'm praying for you that you'll find a balance that lets you achieve as much as you aim to, and do so in a way that maintains your health and safety. Love you!