The other day I was thinking about my life and I realized that I still wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in a village in Africa. (*That's how this blog got started--spending time in villages with Africa.) As much as I want to be in corporate life, and I think I could add a lot of good to it, I think I'm most content getting to know people and investing in people's lives. And Africa is such a diverse, interesting, humbling continent. I'm not necessarily explicitly looking to go there. Just that I wouldn't be surprised. And that sounds so much better than a multi-million dollar home--I know, I can't actually believe that I'm saying that, but I realized it was true. My best days are when I'm investing in people and connecting to other people--really getting to know them. When I'm closer to God. When I'm in alignment with the Holy Spirit and display the fruits of the Spirit--those are my best days. And even if this is all for not, even if Jesus isn't real, though I'm convinced He is, it's a great way to live. And for that, I'm so thankful. What I know is that Jesus loves and desires and yearns for people. Therefore, so do I.
*Sometimes, I get embarrassed about my mission trip to Africa and I had to really dig deep as to why and realized that it's primarily because of the stigma of overseas mission trips. And that sometimes it's hard to actually share how much I really do believe in Jesus and what He did on the cross.
For me, going to Africa was truly life changing. That's where I actually learned that God is bigger than the God of America. That's where I actually learned that to love God is to love people. That's where I learned that God speaks every language and how small I am (in a humbling way) for only knowing one language. That's where I learned that the entire Bible is actually relevant, not just the New Testament. And I darn well better get to know it. That's where I actually learned that people are God's heart. It's where I learned that it's not about my education, my credentials, my salary (or what I wanted to have as a salary, since I was still in college at the time). It's where I learned that life is about people. Connecting to people. Getting to know them. Investing in them. It's where I learned that it's important to know the people you are talking to; learn about them; talk to them and use an interpreter if you have to. Those in the villages that we visited LOVED having us there. And the group I was with didn't just come and go--the organization was connected to locals. They've now focused their mission into one country (Uganda; I had gone to South Africa). If I go back to Africa, or any "overseas" (outside of North America) mission trip or live somewhere else longterm, it's to learn, to invest, to connect. And it's not to force my beliefs on others, because I'm so convinced that free will and people's own decisions to choose for themselves is part of the heart of Jesus. Nothing about healthy relationships should be forced.
I'm so convinced that while I love America, there is so much more to the world. My time in Africa taught me that God loves people so much more than I could ever fathom. Going there made me realize my privilege and my training as a social worker has taught me how to better use my privelege. I never felt like we were "better than them" (which is I think largely where the stigma comes from?); rather I felt so humbled and grateful that they were willing to teach us, to connect with us, to learn from us. I learned so much from those that we met. I learned so much about the country. I learned so much about God.
I believe that black lives matter because how much I believe God loves people. We were the only white people in the villages that we visited and I remember being confused about how excited they were that white people were visiting them and when we had real conversations, we had to lift the veil that we were special because we were white--we weren't. We were in their home (literally, we went into people's homes). They were special. What we were was grateful. They were so full of joy, pride, humility, gratitude, brilliance, kindness, triumph, heartbreak, questions, connections. I loved learning and connecting and it's been over ten years since I've been there and I remember how amazed I was at learning how great and big our God is. And with the combination of my experience and knowledge since then, and all that's happened in America since then, again and again I say, people are God's heart. I've started thinking about politics different, about my stance on things differently, about what I believe and why differently--for so many things I go to the root of "does this reflect what I believe about God?" And I've changed my mind about some things, I've become firmer in other things, and I continuously re-evaluate other things.
To clarify. I still love America. I still only speak English. I'm not ashamed of being white, but I recognize that I have privilege with my skin color. I don't actually like to travel and don't necessarily have a desire to travel to hundreds of countries. But I so love the world and am so grateful there are people who have that desire or people who can speak multiple languages.
So don't be too surprised or upset if I end up deciding to live in a village in Africa or somewhere else outside of America 😁
