Friday, August 19, 2016

The Conflict of Boundaries

This last week, I've either been witness to or a part of several situations where boundary setting led to people being pissed off. And in all situations that have recently occurred, I know that what I (and others) did was the right thing. I know I acted appropriately, I know I didn't do anything wrong, and I know those who I was setting boundaries with were in the wrong. And while I believe in growth and learning from situations and how to respond better, in all of the situations in the past week, I'm confident that I did what I was supposed to do and really wouldn't have done things differently.

Yet, I'm really upset. Hurt, rather. Frustrated? All of those. And I'm now realizing it's because I'm really just confused. I'm in this conflict in the midst of boundary setting, where I have this pull of my intense desire (albeit somewhat dangerous) to be liked, but the ethical obligation to set boundaries.

Be liked.
Set boundaries.

And confused, because which one wins? Why can't they both win? Why is it when boundaries are set, people get mad?

These are rhetorical questions.
And for me, ethics will win.