Sunday, November 23, 2014

Five Words/Phrases That Make You Laugh

My first place to look is my Pinterest board "Grin With Dimples". Although, when  you're looking to see which ones make you laugh harder, it's easier to suppress...So I also looked at "First World Problems". Naturally, I then had way more than five. So, here we go. Not following the rules!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Something That You Miss

All of these prompts prompt me to make a list! I can't help it...I think it's because I'm too indecisive to just choose one thing and want to write out everything.

  • The beach.
  • The ocean. 
  • Africa. 
  • People. 
  • Hugs. 
  • Kit Kats (pretty sure I have one at home, Imma eat it once I get there!)
  • Family vacations.
  • Road trips.
  • School.
  • Supervising.
  • Being an obvious role model. 
  • Being an RA.
  • Playing soccer. 
  • Playing board games. 
  • Airplanes.
  • Not feeling constantly burdened by money.
  • McDonald trips at 2am. 
  • Being able to function on less than 8 hours of sleep. 
  • Living/working in a residence hall.
  • People asking me my opinion. 
  • Getting to sleep past 10am. 
  • Opening the door and having friends right down the hall.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Your Academics

Brag time.

I went to a private kindergarten. My dad was the director of the place, so that was cool, My teacher hated me, that wasn't cool. I don't know why, but the only thing I remember about kindergarten was that my teacher hated me. My parents will back me up on that. I wasn't very good at kindergarten...I think the teacher thought I wasn't very bright, because that's the time you learn how to write and cut and paste and color. And I STILL haven't mastered any of that, pretty sure because my teacher was mean.

1-5 Grade
I was a rock star, no joke. Maybe not first grade, I was still scarred from kindergarten and was now at a public school in a newish school district and the school had only been open a year, and I was super shy, apparently. And second grade was a joke, I don't remember much from there.

But third-fifth grade, I was a rock star. Academic wise, we did accelerated reading (AR) challenges, I always tore those up (not literally, using 90's lingo. Re: I kicked butt). I won a racoon in the fourth grade because I wrote the best story (he was a puppet and he was cute). I was one of the spelling bee champs every year, also. Academic life 3-5 grade was bomb.

6-8 Grade
I struggled in 6th grade. I was at a brand new school and didn't really like one of my teachers, which just makes life hard when you don't like your teachers. I did kick butt in math class though, and that was the beginning of my love for math. 7th and 8th, I adjusted, had bomb teachers, and did pretty dang well. And kept kicking butt in math class. I was awarded some math award for our team at 8th grade promotion.

9th Grade (Freshman!)
This school wasn't all that new (like..4 years old). I took two honors classes, English and World History. Honors World History was one of the hardest classes I've ever had. I thought I was going to fail. I got a C at quarter, B for semester. I remember. The teacher told me that honors wasn't for everyone and maybe not right for me. Pretty sure she got fired later because she was mean to people... could be making that up. Anyways, other than that class, all A's. Sup. Oh yeah, and took geometry. I was one of three freshmen in the class. I remember those tests and the class. Because I was definitely the highest scorer on every one of them. Because I loved math.

10-12 Grade 
Switched schools, brand new school. Kept my steady pace of 2 Honors/AP classes a semester. (Which I believed to show I was dedicated, but not obsessed.) Tenth grade, had another bomb math teacher and did decent. I didn't rock AS hard, it was a little more complicated, but pretty sure I still did well, and I still liked math by the end of it. 11th grade though, started to hate math and by the 12th grade, math was the worst thing in my life (exaggeration, but still). Writing was always my favorite thing, though. 11th grade English class, one of the best classes ever. Again, the teacher.

My high school counselors tried to convince me to apply to ivy league schools. They told me I was one of the only students that they really believed I could do literally almost anything in the world and could excel. I just assumed they told that to everyone.

I remember senior year, a lot of our class dropped out/switched schools/I don't know what, and I was so made because while my specific class ranking never changed, the percentage did. Because being 4th in the class out of 70 isn't as impressive as what it could have been.

Weighted GPA, which is all I know, 4.4 in high school.

K-12, Overall:
When I graduated high school, I loved school. I was good at school.
I loved math, until 11th grade. (Precalculus and calculus ruined it for me.)
I have always hated all science.
I have always hated world history.
I have always loved English/writing classes.
I have never had good hand writing.
I don't have fine motor skills. Now we know why.
Teachers are vital to the learning experience, not just the learning process.

College: Bachelor(ette) Life
I started college with zero credits (no AP or dual enrollment). I averaged 17-18 units every semester in college. One semester, I took 21. Another, 19. I graduated well over the necessary 120 credits and within 4 years. Two totally separate majors and a different minor.
I had a semester where I just hated everything and didn't go to class, like...ever. Junior year, maybe? It was a rough time. I got a lot more B's in college than before. (I think I got two B's in high school.)
I worked hard in college. I think the GPA was around 3.67.
I didn't think I'd get into grad school.

But I did.

College: Grad School 
Way easier than college the first time. Except then I got that brain injury and that made my life really hard. Almost got a 4.0. But during the brain injury time, I got an A- and it's a weighted scale. 3.98, instead.

School Life is the Life for Me
But graduated with a high school diploma, two bachelor's degrees, master's degree, and gained professional licensure by the time I was 23, so that's cool.
I got a lot of academic awards during elementary and middle school, because that was the best time of my life. I peaked in middle school, pretty sure. :)

I would be willing to bet that I turned in no more than 3 papers late in my entire academic career, all with approval. I have never missed a test date, ever. My total absences from school (1-12 grade) was less than an average person within 4 years.

I showed up to class. I took notes. I read. I did my homework. I enjoyed school. And that's basically my academic life.
I was dedicated, but not obsessed, as mentioned earlier. I didn't get straight A's all the time, but got more A's than anything else. I do better than above average, not as good as crazy, genius smart. 

How You Hope Your Future Will Be Like

All the fears I mentioned, I want those to be all cleared up in the future.

The problem with talking about my future with anyone more than 5 years older than me..I started writing out the reasons, but it didn't sound good. Anyways, it's a bit of a problem for me to talk about my future with a lot of people...

I don't even know what dreaming looks like anymore.

Augh, okay, gotta clear my mind to write this out.

So what I HOPE my future looks like. 

Micro/mezzo level (my life):
Having a strong, awesome support system. Having beautiful, graceful, kind, and gentle people encouraging me, advocating for me, laughing at me, laughing with me, checking in on a regular basis and being a person like that to others.

I have more letters after my name.

I would love to do doctors without borders.

I would love to have all of my lame debt paid off (and not accrue more, excluding home). Current debt includes car loan and student loans.

I want to set roots and become invested in a community. No more college lifestyle crap.

I want to be important. I want to matter. I want my job to matter.

I want to contest my credit report (on the to do list for next immediate future). There was an error on it. I think.

Macro level (the world):
I actually want China and the US to uphold their end of the deal and cut down on CO2 emissions. 

I want the income formula for the poverty line updated, and go by net amount...

I want the US to get smart again.

I want us to keep exploring space (that's a new thing for me).

I want to see a radical shift in the way we treat homelessness.

I want ebola to be curable in every area of the world.

I want kids to go back outside.

I want to see more people want things (not material things). 

Your Fears

Well this one is rather broad and vague, isn't it.

I have many, actually. Some are just in general, some specific, some depend on the day, some are all the time, some are just during certain moments of life, so no need to get in a panic about these...

  • My typing has slowed down significantly, and I'm concerned about that. It's not like I don't type very often, so I'm not sure what the deal is. But I was averaging 72wpm when I was 12 (I had amazing learning programs), my average was near 98wpm in college..and now I'm like...lower..
    • Update: I just took  a typing test. I feel a little better? Still way lower than what I was at.. It's one of those trademarks I had, where people almost always would comment on how quickly I typed. I am not as concerned about the typing speed, obviously I'm not slow, but I don't understand how I've decreased so much. 
    • Maybe it's because I'm not typing like 7 intensive papers a week like I used to?

  • The normal fears...failing, not being enough, not being legitimately awesome..
  • Getting pulled over
    • I got pulled over last weekend! All turned out to be okay (sort of, one of my headlights was out). But got it fixed immediately after. 
  • Someone thinks I'm mean, hurtful, rude, unkind, unpleasant, and/or stupid. 
    • This is something I don't share with a lot of people, but it's one of those deep rooted fears I have. And that leads into shame...and the cycle goes on.. 
  • I won't learn how to be truly authentic. 
  • I won't/don't have a really strong support group/system. 
  • I'm afraid I'll never be good at waking up. 
  • Sometimes I get afraid to drive over bridges...that's been a new thing within the last year or so? It's been a weird sensation...
  • Anything that flies that wasn't made by a human. 
    • Insects, bees, wasps, etc. 
  • Ugly animals
    • Might be judgemental, but totally afraid of an animal that isn't cute. Like armadillos. I'm not afraid of cute animals, like squirrels, which is problematic since we all know every squirrel has 43392 diseases and you'll die if you touch one. (Exaggeration)
  • I'm afraid to drive where I can't use my mirrors. 

Currently, one of my biggest fears is getting stuck. Or staying stuck..I think I already am stuck. Being unable to get unstuck?
Today someone told me I should be happy with where I'm at. It made me feel like I was being ungrateful. And perhaps in a way I kind of am. But I don't buy the "you're where you're supposed to be" kind of crap. Sometimes it's true. Sometimes, it's not. 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Five Items You Lust After

I don't know how to actually respond to this prompt....
I assume it means five things I really desire..?
Or I could talk about lust.

A Problem That You Have Had

Is it a cop out to say it's been a problem for me to write a post for this? Yeah...I'm thinking so.

A current problem is that I get embarrassed super easily. I do anything I can to not draw attention to myself if I'm somewhere unless that's the goal. Take right now for instance, I'm at a coffee shop. I have my laptop, my journal, my Bible, my headphones, and some coffee. If I get briefly distracted for a few seconds, I look at my phone, I open a new tab, and someone walks behind me, that's enough to send me over the edge. Not like someone is coming up to me, but just, walking past me, walking anywhere in the vicinity of they can see what I'm doing. Talk about needing privacy, I'm ridiculous. (Sidenote, is it ironic that I'm putting this on a public website? It's different though.) It's not even like I'm procrastinating on anything...I have nothing to procrastinate on!

I also hate taking pictures with my phone. I pretty much refuse to take any selfies. Even texting, I hate doing that in front of people. I will never answer the phone in public (or really anywhere, read almost anything about introverts).

I think a large part is because I always (always, all the time, by everyone, even if you only see me for 4.3 seconds walking by), I always want people to know me as the diligent, hard worker, who is focused. It might be more than that.

And that leads me to my other/similar problem of not allowing myself have fun. I think that's why when I'm in Pinterest, Facebook, BuzzFeed, any social media site in public I feel ridiculous/embarrassed (none of those tabs are open PS.) It goes into the category where I judge myself but not anyone else. I have been looking at where I've been spending my money a lot these past few months. The amount going towards "fun things" are fast food restaurant places to grab a super quick bite to eat, sometimes with people. Other than "fun food", nothing in the past 5 weeks. 100% of my paycheck either went to savings, car payment, rent, utilities, and gas. I've become obsessed with saving, but not in the good way. And I tell myself I have fun by paying for Netflix (oh yeah, that goes in the list) and getting more than one meal a day.

This coffee shop trip? I've been planning for over three weeks. I have 1 1/2 hours that I get to be here. And I bought one coffee.

I didn't even realize I had a problem. But um...I think I have a problem. 

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Something That You're Proud Of

Immediately, my mind went to tangible type accomplishments when I read this. I knew that I didn't want to write about any of those though, I wanted to write about something I've learned, rather than an achievement...

Because today is election day (yay, voting!!!!), I'll use this time to talk about America!

This song gets me every single time. Every. Single. Time.
I really am proud to be an American. I have several posts about it. I love the republic of the United States of America.

I love that Americans can vote.
I love that people know about America.
I love that it's a country that people look to and respect.
I love that we have the police who actually are here to protect and serve.
I love that we have checks and balances.
I love that we have a President and we can elect them and we can impeach them and we can have a say in who he/she is and influence policy.
I love that I can go to any athletic event.
I love that I can go travel between the states without any trouble.
I love that there is such thing as national debate, because that means people can debate.
I love that people can start a campaign.
I love that people can research things.
I love that people can go to school.
I love that education is encouraged.
I love American food.

We have 24 hour donut shops, hotlines, emergency help, mass transit, TV news, sports broadcasting.
You can eat so much here!
Drive thrus!!

I wrote this letter to North America a few years ago:

Dear North America,

I love you a lot. I have been living on your territory my entire life and seriously enjoy it. You are the continent that is just superb in every way. You are the continent that makes me the most proud, to be honest. North America, I am astonished by your ability to be the world’s leader and to be the home of countries that the rest of the world looks up to.

I love the United States of America. The USA is an incredibly interesting place, as it is a place of pride and leadership, however it so often seems to lack humility. Americans are often seen as people who know everything and can achieve anything. Sometimes Americans get that idea in their heads as well and that often leads to trouble. North America…stop. Just stop thinking you know everything and that you don’t ever need help. Yes, you are amazing and revered throughout the world. Yes, you have power and a strong influence on others. But you can’t do it alone. Americans, start learning from others and stop solely teaching. Teach and learn.

Be willing to admit that you need help. Be weary of the fighting you are doing between each other and forgetting about one another. North America, you are a wonderful continent and my personal favorite. You are so admired, so step up and lead by example. You are loved North America—start accepting that love.

James Watson, scientist (Interviewed in 2007)

For all my life, America was the place to be. And we somehow continue to be the place where there are real opportunities to change the world for the better."