Thursday, November 10, 2016


I love voting. I love America. I love democracy. I love freedom.

I'm not a super passionate person. I'm really grateful there ARE super passionate people, I'm just not one of them (and I'm okay with that). Passion is a value and what people are passionate about are also values.

Passion is defined as "strong and barely controllable emotion."  I value objectivity, prudence, judgment, and critical thinking. I value being able to maintain control of my emotions in nearly all situations. I value the idea of not being so entrenched in a belief (including my belief in who Jesus is) that I can't potentially be swayed. Others value that they are so faithful that they couldn't be swayed in their belief. That's a value. Neither are can only be wrong if there are facts involved.

I am so glad other people aren't like me. I'm also so glad other people are like me. We need lots of people who think things through and weigh decisions and we need lots of people who feel deeply and strongly and act on those feelings.

Regarding this specific election--

To my friends of color, LGBTQ, and other marginalized groups: I hear you, I hear the pain, I see the grief, and I hear the feelings of being fearful. Because justice is another strong value I have and one of my favorite words is "safe"; it's so important that you feel safe in America.

To my friends who voted for Trump: You're not stupid. And your values also matter. It's important you feel heard.

It's about values. Some people value financial security, others value financial freedom. Some value the topic of global warming as their top priority, others value rights of women, others value the Dakota Access Pipeline Movement, others value strong protection of borders, and others value education. There are thousands of values. And many of them clash and it's hard for them to coexist. Ergo, spirited debates and unfriending.

But what it is is values. And values aren't wrong. They just are. And people have them. Due to values, I was really torn between my value of being objective versus my understanding of people's passion and I thought that if I were to be objective, that means I'm a heartless person. I had to really wrestle through that.

I value that emotions don't get in the way for me and I value that I can see it from both sides and can be swayed. Many people value that they have a strong belief so much that they can't be swayed. And that's okay. They aren't close minded and I'm not heartless. I value particular topics, others value other topics. And that's okay.

For some, they don't want to interact with people with different values. And that's part of their value system. For others, they want to interact with people with different values, and that's part of their value system. So if you have friends who say "just unfriend me now", recognize their values. You'll also have a lot of friends who say welcome to my page, and it's okay no matter who you are, and recognize those values.

Again, it's about values. And values aren't wrong, they just are.

PS. See my post on unfriending (one of my values): 

Also, Trump/Pence sounds like "Trumpets". Jam to this, might make you dance!

Sunday, November 6, 2016

God Honoring

I've been wrestling between being kind toward someone and being right. As I was thinking about it, a gentle whisper came and asked what choice will honor me? What is the most God honoring response? That has made me step back and reflect. Being God honoring is hard, but it's the choice I want to make. Choosing to follow Christ. Which means...not gossiping, not being passive aggressive, not being unkind or rude, not being a jerk. It means actively choosing integrity, kindness, and Jesus. Love people, even when it's hard, even when they are hurtful, even when it's uncomfortable. And good grief, is it hard right now to make those choices. I want to give this person a piece of my mind, I want to rally others behind me, I want to call them names, I want to be passive aggressive. It's taken me days to calm down, if I'm being honest. So this decision (which I haven't actually followed through on yet, I need to work up to that still) is not one that is easy "just because": I'm a Christian, I'm a professional, I'm a BHP, I'm a social worker, I'm a therapist, I'm a licensed professional, I'm a 'good person' etc...I still wrestle and it's still hard. But I have come to the decision to actively choose kindness, integrity, and ultimately, Jesus.

I've had this song stuck in my head...I had the wrong lyrics, but finally found it: Washed Over Me, All Things New

I need supporters and encouragers. People to hold me accountable of honoring Christ in my choices and lifestyle. That means doing more than just my job and being more than just my job. It means having authentic relationships, pursuing goals, being kind, being courageous. It means being more active, feeling better about myself, making choices I'm proud of, engaging with people, not being so fearful of intimacy. I want to be surrounded by people who are just, merciful, forgiving, and encourage me to be the same. People who are passionate about the beauty of Jesus and hold me up. People who encourage me to take risks, who are intentional, available, and intimate. People who actively choose kindness and integrity. I need a supportive network of people, especially believers.

[This is sort of a compilation of my own journal entries over the months...]