Grace. Forgiveness. Patience.

Grace. Forgiveness. Patience. 

Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves to give those to us.

Some days are hard. You don't have to be so hard on yourself. 
Don't paralyze yourself. Keep going. Even when you feel alone, you 
know you're not. You know people care about you. 
Work even when you don't want to. Organize. Don't lose sight of your goals. 
Even when you do, surround yourself with people who can remind you. 
Go back to who you are. Strong. Ethical. Linear. Driven. Realist. Optimist. Independent. Christian.
Someone who sees the good in people and situation, yet can still see clear right and wrong.
Set goals again. It's okay if you're not always okay. It's okay if things change. Don't be afraid
to set goals again. And to share them. I bet people will still think highly of you. Still think you're 
important. Trust people a little bit more. Sometimes you're not going to be the best, sometimes you're going to lose, sometimes you're going to forget to follow through. Those things don't have to define you. You are still your core, your foundation-you. And you are enough. 

Drive the Bus

Throughout the program, many instructors have told us to "drive the bus". I got my first taste of what that meant recently, when I was given very different direction and feedback from people. Getting unclear directions and being expected to follow them is a little aggravating/annoying/irritating/confusing. Ultimately, what it comes down to is....I drive the bus. Not the instructors. Not my classmates. Not anyone else but me. And I have to know where I'm going, why I'm going there, where I'm not going, and why I'm not going there. So then, when I'm told to go a different way than where I think I'm going, I can think it through and make the best decision at that time. When I'm in a healthy place, it drives me to research more, learn more, explore more, understand more, to be willing and able to be gently challenged and be able to defend. When I'm in an unhealthy place, it drives into aggravation/annoyance/irritation/confusion and I just stop working and moving forward. I just stop in the middle of the street, I don't even pull over. This may or may not have happened....(it definitely did).

This will very likely be the most frustrating part of this process and what I'll need the most support with. If I'm stopped in the middle of the highway, I'll need someone to come up and help me turn the ignition on, go to a gas station, refuel, and reset. If I'm cruising along, I'll need someone to sing along with me, roll their eyes at whoever gives unclear or unhelpful feedback, and dig more to better defend.

Helpful advice from a GCU ppt slide (original emphasis):

• Expect to hear differences in opinions for the development of your dissertation.
• You decided what supports your dissertation focus best!
• You need to be able to defend your position and support it from the literature.
• Dialogue leads to trustworthiness: Assuring integrity in your approach, keeping open communications, sharing your passion, and using the literature as your evidence are essential to establishing trustworthiness and credibility with your committee.