Somewhere You Would Like to Move to or Visit

The world. 

A Quote You Try To Live By

This one serves as a good reminder. It encourages me, it pushes me, it reminds me to do more, to be more, and that I am more. 

 I love this. I've struggled a lot with these concepts. I love that we already are enough. We don't have to do something to earn our worthiness. We are worthy. Period. Not because of what we've done or who we are. There is nothing required to be worthy. You just are. 

These have been new concepts for me, new ideas, new beliefs that I've started to pursue and embody. That we have a story that's worth sharing. And that being brave is to engage and to be vulnerable. 

I love, love, love this one. Agape is one of my favorite words. Agape love is this unconditional, true, worthy, love. Even if, no matter what, no matter what you've done, no matter what you haven't done, no matter what you think, or say, or believe, there is this unconditional, love that says you are worthy. They aren't any fences around it, no one is excluded. 

I wrote this awhile ago. And this is me and who I am and why I do what I do. 

Things You Like and Dislike About Yourself

A few years ago, one of my friends asked me to write a list similar to this...
...I never did it.

Things I Like About Myself

• I can read people pretty well.
• I can generally adapt to situations/people. 
• The color of my eyes.
• The color of my hair. 
• I always match. 
• I'm detail oriented. 
• I'm good at setting boundaries. 
• I don't aggravate people.
• I'm a good driver. 
• I have pretty solid inter/intrapersonal skills. 
• I ask questions. 
• My ability to control my emotions.

Things I Dislike About Myself

• I don't have a very good vocabulary. 
• I'm not a very good runner. 
• I'm not a very good singer. 
• I can't do much with my hair. 
• I can't think of things off the top of my head. 
• I freeze when faced with the unknown. 
• My need for people to like me. 
• My handwriting. 

Something You're Currently Worried About

The trouble with having this public way of journaling is that I begin to write for the audience and not for myself. It becomes less helpful as far as introspection for me and more about appealing to people...again.

I'm currently worried about a lot of things. A lot, a lot. I found something the other day that was a small book that will allow me to document short anecdotes about things that, well, scare me essentially. it's called"Do One Things Everyday that Scares You". It has prompts and quotes and idea and is small, where I can just start to push myself just a little bit every day.

What I'm currently worried about is a combination of failing, succeeding, and staying stuck. They're woven together, making it quite worrisome. It's been the dominating thought for awhile, particularly this past month.  T

Five Words/Phrases That Make You Laugh

My first place to look is my Pinterest board "Grin With Dimples". Although, when  you're looking to see which ones make you laugh harder, it's easier to suppress...So I also looked at "First World Problems". Naturally, I then had way more than five. So, here we go. Not following the rules!

Something That You Miss

All of these prompts prompt me to make a list! I can't help it...I think it's because I'm too indecisive to just choose one thing and want to write out everything.

• The beach.
• The ocean. 
• Africa. 
• People. 
• Hugs. 
• Kit Kats (pretty sure I have one at home, Imma eat it once I get there!)
• Family vacations.
• Road trips.
• School.
• Supervising.
• Being an obvious role model. 
• Being an RA.
• Playing soccer. 
• Playing board games. 
• Airplanes.
• Not feeling constantly burdened by money.
• McDonald trips at 2am. 
• Being able to function on less than 8 hours of sleep. 
• Living/working in a residence hall.
• People asking me my opinion. 
• Getting to sleep past 10am. 
• Opening the door and having friends right down the hall.

Your Academics

Brag time.

Kindergarten
I went to a private kindergarten. My dad was the director of the place, so that was cool, My teacher hated me, that wasn't cool. I don't know why, but the only thing I remember about kindergarten was that my teacher hated me. My parents will back me up on that. I wasn't very good at kindergarten...I think the teacher thought I wasn't very bright, because that's the time you learn how to write and cut and paste and color. And I STILL haven't mastered any of that, pretty sure because my teacher was mean.

1-5 Grade
I was a rock star, no joke. Maybe not first grade, I was still scarred from kindergarten and was now at a public school in a newish school district and the school had only been open a year, and I was super shy, apparently. And second grade was a joke, I don't remember much from there.

But third-fifth grade, I was a rock star. Academic wise, we did accelerated reading (AR) challenges, I always tore those up (not literally, using 90's lingo. Re: I kicked butt). I won a racoon in the fourth grade because I wrote the best story (he was a puppet and he was cute). I was one of the spelling bee champs every year, also. Academic life 3-5 grade was bomb.

6-8 Grade
I struggled in 6th grade. I was at a brand new school and didn't really like one of my teachers, which just makes life hard when you don't like your teachers. I did kick butt in math class though, and that was the beginning of my love for math. 7th and 8th, I adjusted, had bomb teachers, and did pretty dang well. And kept kicking butt in math class. I was awarded some math award for our team at 8th grade promotion.

9th Grade (Freshman!)
This school wasn't all that new (like..4 years old). I took two honors classes, English and World History. Honors World History was one of the hardest classes I've ever had. I thought I was going to fail. I got a C at quarter, B for semester. I remember. The teacher told me that honors wasn't for everyone and maybe not right for me. Pretty sure she got fired later because she was mean to people... could be making that up. Anyways, other than that class, all A's. Sup. Oh yeah, and took geometry. I was one of three freshmen in the class. I remember those tests and the class. Because I was definitely the highest scorer on every one of them. Because I loved math.

10-12 Grade 
Switched schools, brand new school. Kept my steady pace of 2 Honors/AP classes a semester. (Which I believed to show I was dedicated, but not obsessed.) Tenth grade, had another bomb math teacher and did decent. I didn't rock AS hard, it was a little more complicated, but pretty sure I still did well, and I still liked math by the end of it. 11th grade though, started to hate math and by the 12th grade, math was the worst thing in my life (exaggeration, but still). Writing was always my favorite thing, though. 11th grade English class, one of the best classes ever. Again, the teacher.

My high school counselors tried to convince me to apply to ivy league schools. They told me I was one of the only students that they really believed I could do literally almost anything in the world and could excel. I just assumed they told that to everyone.

I remember senior year, a lot of our class dropped out/switched schools/I don't know what, and I was so made because while my specific class ranking never changed, the percentage did. Because being 4th in the class out of 70 isn't as impressive as what it could have been.

Weighted GPA, which is all I know, 4.4 in high school.

K-12, Overall:
When I graduated high school, I loved school. I was good at school.
I loved math, until 11th grade. (Precalculus and calculus ruined it for me.)
I have always hated all science.
I have always hated world history.
I have always loved English/writing classes.
I have never had good hand writing.
I don't have fine motor skills. Now we know why.
Teachers are vital to the learning experience, not just the learning process.

College: Bachelor(ette) Life
I started college with zero credits (no AP or dual enrollment). I averaged 17-18 units every semester in college. One semester, I took 21. Another, 19. I graduated well over the necessary 120 credits and within 4 years. Two totally separate majors and a different minor.
I had a semester where I just hated everything and didn't go to class, like...ever. Junior year, maybe? It was a rough time. I got a lot more B's in college than before. (I think I got two B's in high school.)
I worked hard in college. I think the GPA was around 3.67.
I didn't think I'd get into grad school.

But I did.

College: Grad School 
Way easier than college the first time. Except then I got that brain injury and that made my life really hard. Almost got a 4.0. But during the brain injury time, I got an A- and it's a weighted scale. 3.98, instead.

School Life is the Life for Me
But graduated with a high school diploma, two bachelor's degrees, master's degree, and gained professional licensure by the time I was 23, so that's cool.
I got a lot of academic awards during elementary and middle school, because that was the best time of my life. I peaked in middle school, pretty sure. :)

I would be willing to bet that I turned in no more than 3 papers late in my entire academic career, all with approval. I have never missed a test date, ever. My total absences from school (1-12 grade) was less than an average person within 4 years.

I showed up to class. I took notes. I read. I did my homework. I enjoyed school. And that's basically my academic life.
I was dedicated, but not obsessed, as mentioned earlier. I didn't get straight A's all the time, but got more A's than anything else. I do better than above average, not as good as crazy, genius smart.