No one's ever ready. You just have to do it. Jump. Leap. Have faith. And even if a person doesn't respond how you wanted, know that I am so proud of you. I'm enough for you, Ashley. You keep trying to find your worth in people and achievements even though you know you won't get it there. Logic isn't your issue. You have the logic. Right now, you don't need more apologetics, more "cases", more evidence. You have all of that. What you still lack is the part of the unbelief. The part that can't be entirely explained. The part that just requires faith, vulnerability. The part that requires you to feel scared. Even though you believe in me (and your friends), even though you know me to be who I say I am, even though you know and believe, trust is still so hard. I had to give you some kind of struggle :).
I will never let you fall or leave you. Trust. Have faith, dear one. You have enough logic. Your mind is sharp. Let yourself feel vulnerable emotions. Feelings are okay. Feel scared. Feel jealous. Feel upset. Feel hurt. Feel inadequate. Feel worried. Feel them. And you'll see that I'm there too. You'll see that I'm always there. You'll see that those feelings are okay and then we can leave them--just because I want you to feel them doesn't mean I want you stuck in them. So don't stay, but experience them. And know that I'm experiencing them too.
How is that we serve a God that meets us where we are? How is that we have a God that tells me these things? God is full of grace, mercy, accountability, kindness, and so much more. He wants us to feel and doesn't dismiss heartache and feeling scared, feeling jealous, feeling inadequate, and feeling a whole host of other emotions that we don't want to. He invites us into it and meets us there.
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