Journal?

The enemy has been defeated. Death couldn't hold You down. We're going to lift our voice in victory, we're going to make our praises loud.

Sometimes God asks us to do tricky things. Sometimes His timing is really inconvenient. I mean...come on. I have school. I have tests. I have papers. I have meetings. I don't have time to build relationships God. I don't have time to really care about others. Doesn't He get that?

This is how He often responds to me when I tell Him that:
He says, "Ashley. Kid...Honey, Child. What are you doing?"
And then I tell Him, "Welllllllll.........I..I..I....Eep..."
And He smiles. And reminds me that He will take care of me. And that I seriously have got to get my butt in gear and actively love people. And His timing, contrary to my belief, is actually quite on target. He also reminds me that He's gotta be more important than school. That He is the source and provider of joy, peace, passion, purpose, love, excitement.

So, why am I writing this at 3:20am? Because I couldn't sleep. These last few nights, I've been able to have really intentional conversations with people about Christ. And in both of them, He revealed Himself in a powerful way. I saw people break down and run straight into His glory. And people were faced with a decision. Christ or something else. Tonight, I got up so I could listen to some "Jesus Jams" as I like to call them. And I began reading "Starving Jesus". And then apparently...felt the need to write in this blog (what a weird word) but in a very real way.

Also, I'd like to point out that this is like a for real journal type entry. Yeah. Be proud. Bam.

Back to the whole God thing from a few paragraphs earlier. I gotta be semi-careful how I word this, write this, enter this...but here we go. So I have a really cool job. My job is to care about people. And I get paid for it. Pretty legit, yeah? Yeah......... Well. There's actually a lot more to it than just caring about people. A lot more. But I want to focus solely on the whole caring aspect of it. So, I have 43 people that I'm directly "responsible" (I don't really know what the right word is, but that seems to fit okay....) for. 43. On one level, that's not that many, right? It should be easy to care about 43 people. And to that I say, "You're right. It is easy to care about them."

I'm going to clump these 43 women together and say this about them: They are really cool. For real, they are amazing. Sure, they get on my nerves sometimes (in the most loving way, of course), and sure, they do some ridiculous things. But I have got to say. I seriously love them. I adore them. I admire them. All 43 of them. And I care about them. (And what's really nuts to me. Is that God loves them, adores them, cares about them. Way more than I ever could. That's the kind of God I serve.)

But those things...are easy to do. It's the whole actively loving thing that I have issues with. Mainly because I just don't have time. Or they don't have time. Put it together, and we don't have time. We are too busy to build a genuine relationship. And I have continued to use that as an excuse. That I've tried, but it's not going to happen. One of us is always busy. But excuses aren't really a favorite of God's. And He seems pretty adamant about the whole actively loving thing.

Having a genuine relationship with 43 people. And the rest of what my job entails. And being a full time student. And keeping up with other things and people. Is actually quite difficult. So this is where I complain apparently. Yeesh. What I'm getting at is this. 43 people is actually a lot when it comes to actively loving. So that's why I tell God I don't have time. Because if I spent just one hour with each of them. That's 43 hours. But a real relationship is more than one hour. It's continuous. It's many hours. And many hours with 43 people. Is a whole lot of hours. And that's when He tells me. Hey Ash, just trust me. This whole time issue ain't got nothing on me. I got you. You can do school. You can keep up with things. You can actively love. So long as I am in the midst of it all. So long as I. Come. First.

If you are one of those 43 persons. I'm going to let you know right now, that I'm going to be knocking on your door really soon and asking to hang out. And I'm going to be pretty persistent. Because I genuinely want to and because God really wants me to. Because you are worth it. You are worth my time. You are worth having an intentional conversation with.

Okay, okay God. I think I get it. Good grief.

So here's what I'm saying.
1. Don't use lack of time as an excuse to not love on people. Especially if you're a Christ Follower.
2. Actively love people. Be genuine. Build genuine relationships.
3. People are worth it.
4. The 43 girls I've been talking about are fantastic and I can't wait to for real get to know them.

And just so we're clear. I love my job. And I love my girls. And I love my God. And my schoolwork will still get done. And all is good in the hood. I'm not actually as overwhelmed as what it may have sounded, because I am continuously calmed down by the peace of God.

Love

I just found out that there are approximately 150 English words that are both verbs and nouns. (You can see the compiled list here.) 150 words. This includes drink, order, fish, address, sting...and love. Some of you may be thinking, "No duh Ashley, of course 'love' is a verb and a noun. Everyone knows that". To which I say to you...I don't think that's entirely true. I don't think everyone knows that. I think oftentimes, we (people...) see love as just a feeling. Like when people say they marry for love, they're usually speaking in terms of how they feel about one another. Granted, this is all my own opinion, but I'm pretty sure if that's the case...love sounds like an awful reason to get married. Because, really now, what's the probability that you will FEEL the same way about a person for the rest of your life? I can probably promise that my feelings often fluctuate. Feelings are pretty conditional. And besides, the dictionary defines feeling as "an emotional state". Well, what does state mean? It means "at a particular time". (Definitions from Oxford American Dictionary) So what I gather, is that a feeling is what emotion you are at a particular time. And the chances of you being all giddy and excited for the rest of your life, regardless of any circumstance, is pretty slim I'd say. But hey, that's just my rationale. 

But, this argument is missing two things. 

1. The Bible uses it as a noun at times...in a better way than the feeling. 

2. Love isn't just a noun. It's also a verb; an action. 

The Bible uses the word "love" as a noun at times. An adjective describes a noun, yes? And adjectives 

are descriptive words, yes? So the majority of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 uses the word "love" as a noun. 

Check it out: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not 

demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about 

injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always

hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." Using "love" as a noun isn't bad! It's good! Paul uses 

it as if it were a noun. Love is a noun! Additionally, this describes the noun as something that doesn't

fluctuate based on changes or conditions. This noun is constant. This is a very different noun than what

many people think of it as...hmmmm.

The Bible also uses it as an action. Because love isn't just a noun--it's a verb too. Go out and love. Go out and love 

on the world. Love through actions. Love through words. Love isn't something you feel. It's something you do. It's 

something you show. 

There are four words for "love" in the greek language. Agape, eros, philia, and storge. The basic run down goes like

this:

Agape: true love, sacrificial love

Eros: Passionate love (like significant others)

Philia: Friendship love

Storge: Affectionate love (like parents to children)

God is our father, our Abba. Storge. 

God is our friend. Philia.

We are His bride. Eros.

God loves us fully and wholly. He sacrificed His son for you, for me, for us. Agape. 

God is love. Love is God. God loves us in every way possible and in the best way possible. 

We are called to be Christ like. We are called to love as He does. I want to focus more on the agape love. When He

writes for us to love, it's the word "agape". We are to love unconditionally. Even if someone is a jerk. Even if

someone lies. Even if someone hates. Even if someone "does something bad". Even if someone makes us angry,

mad, sad. Even if (insert something here). No matter what. Love. Agape. Forgive people. Love people. Care for

people. No matter what. It's hard. I know. He knows. But that's not an excuse. Love people. Agape. 

And remember. That you are worth it. That He died for you. And He loves you. And He forgives you. And you.

You don't deserve it. Neither do I. He still loves us. Agape. 

Burdaaaaaays!

Song of the post: "This is the first day of the rest of your life" (Hold Us Together, Matt Maher).

If it's your birthday...
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthdaaaaay dear (or is it to?) YOOOOOOOU!
Happy birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy tooooooo yooooooouuuuuu!!!!!

Yaaaaay. Hip hip hurray for birthdays!

A lot of people have been having birthdays recently, so I'm in the birthday mode! (Although I have yet to have any cake or ice cream!!! What the heck?!) But for real...I've been thinking a lot about birthdays. I feel like there has been so many of them recently (seriously like almost 1/4 of my residents have had birthdays within the last 3 weeks) that I can't keep up with them! Which I then feel awful for because I like giving cards to people...cards/letters/notes are my favorite things everrr so I just assume other people like them too, just perhaps not to the degree that I do. I've also been thinking about my pals that aren't in Flagstaff...and how I have to miss their birthdays which is rather unfortunate.

And it may seem like I'm big on birthdays...but I'm really not. I more just like to make sure people feel cared for, particularly on the day that they're celebrating their day of birth.

I've also been thinking a lot about my past birthday. On July 17, 2010 I turned 20. I was in South Africa from July 7-July 27. In case you didn't pick it up...I got to spend my 20th birthday in South Africa. And it was pretty tight, not going to lie. I got to go to the lion park and play with a baby tiger and baby lion. I can legitimately say I've been mauled by a tiger and got a rip in my pants by a lion. It was amazing.

At midnight, South Africa time (9 hours ahead of AZ), my cabin mates woke me up and sang to me and gave me a card--it was beautiful! I got to spend the first 10 days of being 20 serving Christ surrounded by people who are wholly committed to Jesus. And thinking back to those first ten days serves as a reminder of how I wan to spend the third decade of my life. I want to spend my twenties simply loving Jesus in the most passionate and powerful ways. Jesus gives me such joy. "Like sunlight burning at midnight, something so beautiful, beautiful" (Beautiful, Beautiful, Francesca Battestelli). Being woken up at midnight with people who have the light of Christ was truly beautiful.

I want this decade to begin and end with Christ. For He is the I AM, Alpha and Omega.

I think that's why I am so excited about birthdays. I want people to experience something cool. That doesn't mean they have to go to South Africa. That doesn't mean they have to go hang out with a tiger or lion. It does mean that I want people to feel joy, feel loved, feel cherished, feel excited. Excited for their life, for the year, for the decade. And that means that those of us who call ourselves Christ followers, have got to step up. And go share the Good News of Christ. Because it's fo' real good news, ain't gonna lie.

Have a very happy birthday!

Life's Cool

I have a lot of half (or less than half) finished things. There are a lot of things I want to write about here, but I just haven't been able to sit down and think things out. And some people tell me that it's silly, that this is a blog, a journal type deal, and that I should write (type). And not think, let it flow. I'm not down for that, and am going to continue to think things through and not be totally ridiculous. With that being said, here are the things that I have been wanting to write here, or have started writing:

• Birthdays. I think it's partially because a lot of people have had birthdays lately...and I've been thinking about my birthday..
• Love. There's a lot to chat about on that word=) 
• Along with love...marriage. 
• I think there is more...but those are the main ones..

Sooo hopefully I will get those nailed out...

My Glorious

I haven't yet explained why my blog is called what it is. Why the site is dearworld-ily. Why it says love(ly). And I want to talk about love right now and explain myself here.

I'm American through and through. I love America and just about everything that is American. I love burgers and hotdogs, fireworks, singing, capitalism, individualism, freedom, etc. I love America. And for the longest time, I loved America and only America. I thought that because I loved America so much, I couldn't really love any other place. Quite honestly, I didn't really have a heart for the rest of the world. I was glad other people did, but I didn't really. Throughout my sophomore year of college, I began to be transformed. I began to see that it's great to love America, but was reminded that my God is bigger than just America. That the God I serve is glorious. A glorious and wonderful God who so deeply and earnestly loves the whole Earth. A God who yearns for every tribe and every nation to know Him. A God who holds the world in His hands, a God who continuously says, "Dear World...I love you". And being Christ like, meant loving like Christ. Whole heartedly and compassionately and without limits. I still love America, but I now also love the countries and the people that are outside of America's borders. And yes, it really did take me 19 years to have the heart I now have for the world. An earnest and kind heart, one that mirrors Christ's best it can.

So this blog site is called dearworld-ily because Jesus loves the world and so do I. It's a "written" testimony of how I love on the world. Of how I show the world that I love it and all that it encompasses. It's my letter to the world, inviting all to know about my God. Inviting all to see the agape love that the world and that you are being offered. It's for me to also start saying, "Dear World....I love you".

On top of that, the title is "Love(ly)".  The (ly) is an acronym for "love you". As it is so lovely to love and be loved. It's so lovely that our God loves us. By loving you, love is shown. Love, love, love. Love with compassion, love with empathy, love with forgiveness, love with excitement, love unconditionally. Agape love.

So through the love that Christ has shown me, I want to go love on the world. These are my letters to the world, reminding every tribe and nation and person that they are loved. That I love you. That God loves you. And that is so lovely. 

E-mail Update #8 (August 4, 2010)

Dumela! (Hello in Sesotho)

I apologize for getting this e-mail out so late, as it has been about a full week since I've been back in the states. Ever since I've been back, things have been pretty non-stop and I seem to have come down with a pretty bad head cold. Though it's almost more unfortunate for those around me, as they have to listen to my coughing! But truly, other than the minor illness all has been well and I've loved being back in America. I've been able to enjoy cheeseburgers and steaks and soda with sugar and sugary foods=) (In Africa, they don't use nearly as much sugar in anything, including soda, and I had a minor issue with that...I missed my sugar!) Well, before writing this e-mail, I prepared for it by making a list of what all I wanted to be sure to include, as there is a lot to tell!

As much as I love being home, the trek back was not all that enjoyable. We had another layover in Paris, and on the plane from Paris to DC a flight attendant spilled 7up all over me, my seat, and my stuff. While the amount of napkins was a "comical amount" as my friend and one of my team members, Sara Mae, called it to clean up and that brought many laughs, I would like to point out that the clothes I was wearing would be the same clothes for three days and I still had another 5 hours on that same plane with all the soda. I was a little irked, but the amount of napkins that the flight attendant brought out (it almost didn't fit in my hand there were so many) and his profuse apologies made it all okay and a fun story to tell.

It was once we got to America that things, traveling wise, began to go downhill. Once we landed, it took a long while to go through customs and passport control. Two of the girls on our team were from Canada and had to go through a different line for passports. Because their line was incredibly longer than US residents line, and many of us had to catch another flight, that ended up being the last time we saw them, which was incredibly unfortunate. I rushed to re-check my baggage and literally ran through the DC airport to get to my gate for my next flight, which I arrived at just 5 minutes or so before boarding only to find out that my flight had been delayed for fifteen minutes. Enough time to get an American hamburger meal! Then it was delayed for another five minutes...then another twenty...we finally boarded the completely full flight after an hour of delays. Once we all boarded the plane and had watched the safety video twice, we were delayed for another HOUR. Due to that delay, my connecting flight for Phoenix took off before I even landed in Atlanta. I was moved to the 10pm flight to Phoenix, the time I was supposed to arrive in Tucson. Needless to say, I arrived home at 3:30am on Wednesday instead of 10pm on Tuesday. Looking back on the weeks spent in South Africa, thinking about the relationships made with Americans, Canadians, and the Basothos, I can easily say that the negative delays doesn't even come close in comparison to the amazing time in South Africa.

In South Africa I learned hundreds of things. I learned that African elephants have giant ears, that zebras aren't as ugly in person as some other animals are, and that rhinos really are huge. I learned how to sweep "Basotho style", how to wash clothes without a washing machine, and how to wash dishes without a towel, a sink, or extra water to rinse. I learned how to shake hands in South Africa and a few phrases (very few phrases) in Sesotho. I also learned the importance of knowing the Bible and learned that God moves in all sorts of ways. I learned that God is intentional and that He truly does love unconditionally.

In the Bible, there are a plethora of verses that I don't ever think twice about because they aren't as relevant in America. Verses about talking to the dead, witchcraft, slaughtering animals, etc. However those are the verses we spent a lot of time on when talking with people. I was reminded of how intentional God is. That each thing in His Word is important and that He knows the nations and hearts of the world far better than anyone could come close to.

It's hard not to love Africa, especially when you're there. It's a place where it was so evident that God's love overflows, that He has unending mercy and grace. That He yearns to have a personal relationship with those living in South Africa. He loves Africa and is the God of Africa, just as He loves America and is our God.

I also was reminded of how intricate He works. Our team, 14 people from all over North America (Canada, California, Arizona, Texas, Virginia, Missouri, Mississippi, Alabama, Ohio, Oklahoma, Florida, Colorado), sat together in a remote village in South Africa. He molded us for that trip and once we were there we meshed ridiculously well together and built off one another. Back home, we are still being transformed but with the impressions of our team members. The intricate details that were revealed during our time in South Africa. The team was strengthened and detailed and despite the distance, we continue to uplift one another.

There is much more to say, however this is getting rather lengthy and I'm falling asleep over the keyboard. There are pictures uploaded on Facebook that you can view (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1021590061). Soon I will post on my blog more specific stories about South Africa and the people there (http://dearworld-ily.blogspot.com/)

I will be sure to keep you updated as I update the blog and will share more stories and more things I learned and am learning.

Thank you all,

-Ashley

E-mail Update #7 (July 19, 2010)

Dumela!

I'm finally getting some basic Sesotho phrases down! So much so that sometimes the Basothos think I'm fluent, which becomes a problem..=) Anyhoo, this weekend we went to the lion park where I got to hang out with a baby tiger and baby lion. I can legitimately say I've been bitten by a tiger and got a slight rip on my pants by a lion=) On Sunday I went to church in Qwa Qwa where the service was 2 1/2 hours long. One we got back to base I climbed Mt. Everest and my legs are definitely feeling it today. (It's South Africa's version of Mt. Everest, but for the record it really is called Mt. Everest and it's a real mountain..it's just not the actual for real Mt. Everest.)

Today was our first day ministering in Intabazwe. I got a Sesotho name because one of the women didn't like our English names=) (They were a bit difficult to pronounce for her.) Mine is...Matahbo I think, which means happiness. We washed a lot of dishes and sang and danced with her. At another house we went to we washed more dishes and I swept and mopped the floor and then went outside and played games with the kids. We tried playing zebra zebra lion (South Africa's version of duck duck goose) but they weren't down for that so we played stop/go (red light/green light) and Simon Says for a long time.

The weather is finally warming up, which is excellent. I could finally take my sweatshirt off today and have short sleeves on, compared to last week where I had about six layers on and a jacket, sweatshirt, and a big coat! While the weather is getting warmer, more and more dust is flying in the air. One of the team members, Hayley, is having severe allergies and her face is starting to really irritate her. Ami has also been dealing with a lot of sickness and is really getting down today and Morgan felt so under the weather that she had to stay back for the second half of ministering today. Please pray for Hayley, Ami, and Morgan who are really getting pretty sick as we start our second week. As for the rest of the team, many of us are starting to feel more and more weary and somewhat sick at the stomach, pray that we can continue to stay healthy.

We really started building relationships with the two families we visited today in Intabazwe and tomorrow we're going to start our conversations about our faith. Pray for those conversations, that they are intentional and loving.

With only a week left and the fear that we may never see each other again, this week is going to be a difficult week in other ways that last week wasn't. Continue to pray for our team, to have strengthened relationships throughout the week.

Thank you all for everything!

-Ashley