Be a Master!

As I prepare for graduation from NAU, I have to think about, well, my life.
The big question seems to be: What am I going to do next?
I have been thinking a lot about this and have actually started to narrow things down. And this isn't necessarily about what I've decided but it is about one of the options and why it's so high in the running.

Getting a Master's Degree. 
Then I could say, "I am the Master"!


There are several reasons why this isn't set in stone. By several, I mean I can list 8 off the top of my head and give me a little while and I'm sure I could come up with 16 more reasons why this isn't an automatic win. (One reason is that I don't know if if it's master's degree, Master's degree, MA, M.A, etc. I can't get a degree in something I can't write properly!)

I was thinking about adults in my life who I really admire. Six of them have a master's degree (I think that's right for generic purposes...). Essentially by admire, the broadest sense of the word is that I want to be like them in some way and they have encouraged me or inspired me. I haven't told them and I'm not sure if I was supposed to get some kind of permission from them by talking about them here...so I may be breaking some rule, which is actually kind of exciting...but also, I apologize for that. And I also just realized that I'm not 100% sure that they all have their Master's...but I still admire them nonetheless..but I'm pretty sure they do.

Meghan James 
If you don't know Meghan, you're missing out. She is the kind of person who is not only interested in almost everything, she knows almost anything about almost everything. It's really impressive, quite actually. Beyond that, she is potentially one of the most humble of persons you will ever meet. I want to "get my feet dirty" as the saying goes (or am I making that saying up?), because of her. She has shown me the value in learning things. Learn what I need to learn and learn what I want learn. The more you learn, the better you can connect to people.

Melinda Jensen 
Mrs. Jensen was my math teacher in high school and my homeroom teacher. I've had a lot of great teachers throughout my school years, so the fact that she's one that stands out is impressive. Now, I can't say she influenced me to go into math...in fact I kind of hate math=)...but, I wanted to be a better student because of her. She was one of the teachers that genuinely cares about her students and it was obvious. The kind of teacher that makes her students want to strive for more. She was the teacher that even on the crappiest of days, she had a smile on her face and tried to make other people smile. It was her charisma and genuineness that would always radiate around her. And, even though math isn't my favorite subject anymore, I actually really liked it when I was in her class and she was also ridiculously good at teaching math.


Jill Langan 
Jill was my direct supervisor for my first two years as an RA. I (sort of) lived with her and worked with her. I saw her almost every single day and we got to know each other fairly well. I encountered a lot of situations where I had zero idea about what to do and Jill always knew how to guide me. Whether it was to direct me in the proper protocol or simply calm me down, I knew I could count on her. She wasn't afraid to say "I don't know", but she didn't stop there. She would say "I don't know, but let me find out". She is so compassionate and encourages people to go do what they want. I was so spoiled by having her as my boss, because she was probably one of the best ones anyone could ask for. I don't think I would have made it through even my first semester as an RA if it weren't for her support. She showed me that it was totally possible to be a student and a fantastic hall staff member at the same time. I learned how to handle various situations and different types of people by watching her.


Drew Satter
Drew was one of my supervisors for my first two years as an RA at NAU. He is one of those leaders that people just flock to. I don't know if I can think of any other male in my life who I was so impressed by and had the most respect for. I remember my second year as an RA, we had three new guys on our staff and I told them to watch Drew, because he was an exemplary role model and that they would learn so much by working under him. I admire Drew, plain and simple. He has a fantastic wife and it's so evident that he cherishes her. He works so dang hard at his job, which is why I think I had such a high respect for him almost immediately. He worked hard and expected us to work hard. He wouldn't just tell us to do something, he would show us and would lead by example. I actually didn't really start looking at grad programs until I was encouraged by Drew.


Stephanie Sheaffer 
Mrs. Sheaffer was my counselor in high school. She loves people. Encouraging them, loving on them, supporting them, advising them... My admiration for her is exponentially high. I felt so supported by her and truly felt like I could do almost anything with my life because of her confidence in me. I learned the importance of having confidence in people and being an encourager to others from her. She would go out of her way to find something for me or to help me. I try to go above and beyond people's expectations to help them, because that's what Mrs. Sheaffer did for me. Also, her writing skills are impeccable and I sincerely hope I can continue to strive to be at her writing level, because I've learned that the ability to write is necessary for life.


Julie Spier
Julie has become one of my best friends, whether she knows that or not=P The older I get, the more like her I get. Throughout our many conversations, we discover how similar we really are...it's almost odd how alike we are. More than once, I've been called "Julie's mini me". Her passion for students is truly remarkable, as she yearns to share with them this wholly, remarkable, tender love that is found through Jesus. She's the one who encouraged me to figure out what I'm holy discontent about and do something about it. I never wanted to disappoint her, but more than that I wanted her to be proud of me. I trust, respect, and admire Julie. She guides me and pushes me. She wouldn't let me just sit on my butt and do nothing, and while I probably wouldn't let myself do that, I am grateful to know that I have someone who will make sure I am always moving and doing something to further the Kingdom.



I have the utmost respect and admiration for all six of these people. I have learned from them and strive to do more because of them. They are all brilliant, captivating, and astonishing individuals who genuinely love and care about others. I just want to be cool like them!

For the record, I'm not trying to say that I respect them because of the degrees that they have. 

Rantin' and Ravin'

I'm about to start my last year of college and I'm already having flashbacks to my senior year of high school. When I was getting ready to graduate high school, I was asked about my future plans ALL THE TIME. And I was a horrible person if I didn't have it figured out. Luckily, I had some of it set. I knew I was going to a university. It was just the specifics that I didn't have down throughout that year, which was what people wanted to know. Why don't you know? You need to get it figured out. There are a lot of options. Which ones are you considering? What are you going to major in? The questions went on and on and on. I remember calling my friend and we considered tallying the number of times people asked questions about my future...it would have been in the hundreds. As I get ready to graduate college, the exact same questions are being asked. Only this time, it's worse.

1. I don't have something set. Then, I at least was set in the idea of going to a university. Now, there are just 7 different options and then each of those options include 4239 more options. 
2. This is apparently more "real" than graduating high school. I won't be 18, I'll be 21. I won't just have a high school diploma, I'll have a Bachelor of Science degree. I'll be less and less dependent. I'm not supposed to settle for a job, but start searching for a career. 

Back to my ranting before I say something of use.
It's not like those aren't important questions. They're just annoying. Now, with that being said I don't necessarily mean to deter people from asking or caring about my future. (Though I do question how many people are asking just to make small talk or just to compare me to someone else they know and see how I measure up.) It's just that I'd be more okay with the questions if I actually had a solidified answer. I hate answering "I don't know" or with different possibilities. But I also hate that people just assume I haven't even thought about it if I don't have a for sure plan. A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me what I was doing after I graduate and I was taken off guard because, well, it's summer and the school year wouldn't have even started for another 10 weeks. And then I would have like 9 months in school before graduation. I had almost an entire year and when I said I wasn't sure, their response was more of a freak out and I was kind of told that I needed to get my butt in gear.

I then tried to explain some of the different options that I was really looking into, but they weren't having it. They told me I better figure it out really soon...like before November soon (I mentioned November for whatever reason, I don't remember why, and that apparently wasn't soon enough).

This is to adults everywhere: True/False
There are people who are gearing up graduation and haven't thought about their next steps. True
Most soon to be graduates think you have ulterior motives when asking questions about the future. True
Okay, I had more but I forgot them. I would suck at making true/false tests...Anyways!

I had a purpose to this entire post, but I forgot it due to all of my ranting. So I'll make up new points. These are they:

1. The thing I hate most about graduating are all of the annoying questions about what's next. 
2. If I think somebody is asking about my plans for the future just so they can see how I measure up to other people in my place, I usually tell them a really impressive future plan. And it's fun to watch their face and response. I didn't do that too much in high school, only a few times. But I've gotten braver, so I've done it much more often in these last few weeks...and will continue to do so, I'm sure. (I've also gotten better at reading people, so that plays into my bravery.) Sometimes, I do the opposite and say, "Oh, I'm not really sure..I haven't really thought about it." Because that's also a lie. 
3. I don't mind the questions if someone genuinely cares. 
4. I don't mind engaging in conversation about various ideas, so long as it's not solely small talk or it turns into an interview, where I'm being asked several questions and feel the need to have a perfect response. 
5. College isn't over. I still have a year left, life is still happening right now. I have to plan for my future, yes, but I also have to live right now. If I'm going to be asked questions about the future, I want to be asked about something current too. 
1. Which reminds me of another thing. Throughout college, every single time I came home there were two questions I was always asked: How's college? Do you have a boyfriend? Also annoying questions. 

Alright, this post had absolutely no point. Now I'm upset. 

Religion vs. Christianity

I feel like I may make some people angry with this post, so we'll see how it goes..

I often tell people that I hate religion and almost every time, people retort "Ha, yeah right Ashley. You're probably the most religious person I know". I try not to let that get to me, because I know they see religion differently than I do. But really, I hate that response.

To be part of a religion means that you believe or follow a particular system of faith. A system is "a set of procedures according to which something is done". It's more about the procedures. Sort of like a check list of sorts.

• Am I going to church?
• Am I involved in the church?
• Am I a "good person"?
• Do I help people?
• Do I know church songs?
• Do I dress appropriately?
• Do I believe in a god?

It's like if we answer "yes" to all of those things, then we're good to go. I think that this is the start to lazy Christianity. I'm not saying that none of those things are good. In fact, they are all good and I would hope that Christ followers can answer "yes" to most, if not all, of those. But we don't end there. There is more. 

The God that I believe in isn't a god made from humans, dependent on us, needing anything from us. In every other religion, it seems to be about humans trying to connect with God. Humans making sacrifices, humans being "good", humans trying to make a god love them. In Christianity, it's the other way around. It's about God trying to connect with humans. It's about God making the ultimate sacrifice. It's about God sending His son to die for them so that they may be saved. It's about a God who loves people and trying to bring them back. 

To go beyond that, many people get caught into a trap. Here are some common mistakes about religion, specifically Christianity:

1. It's inherited
1. John 3:3-6
2. Just because you grew up in the church or your parents are Christians doesn't mean you are
3. It's not about who you are or where you're from.
2. It's just a belief
1. Easy to say you believe in something because that doesn't require much change or action
2. Actions need to match words, or words don't mean much. 
3. James 2:14-16
4. 2 Corinthians 5:17
3. It's just an action
1. You're not a Christian just because you don't drink, smoke, swear, etc. 
2. It's not just about doing
1. It's about believing and doing
3. John 3:16--belief of Jesus must be there
4. It's about perfection
1. There seems to be a myth that once you're a Christian, you have to be perfect. 
2. If we could be perfect, there would be not reason for Jesus. 
3. Romans 5:8

In essence, Christianity isn't about us. It's not about what we can do or what we have done or where we came from or anything like that. It's all about Jesus. It's about Him dying for us and loving us. 

"We are not religious people who have it all together, rather we are people who are desperately loved by Jesus and were radically transformed by Him."

You see the greatest lie every told is that the Christian life is boring. It’s meant only for old people who want to try to get into Heaven or for the whack job who doesn’t have the mental fortitude to muddle through their difficulties. If that’s what Christianity is I wonder what Bible I’ve been reading…I must have some how got the unrated version where men and women live passionately, fight zealously, and die without regrets (recognizing they will never die). Or maybe we’ve just been blinded for so long we’d rather settle for lies than grasp the Truth. (Found on: http://dawordsmith.wordpress.com/tag/the-bible/)

Being Holy Discontent

When I was in high school, I was challenged to think of something that makes me "holy discontent" and that has remained a challenge that I try to answer and do something about it.

To be holy discontent is essentially looking at the question of what wrecks you? What makes you angry? See, it's okay to be angry. It's okay to be wrecked, to see something and say, that's not okay. What isn't okay, is to not doing anything about it.

Things that may make you angry:

• AIDS
• Immoral business practices
• Dysfunctional churches
• Disease
• Sex trafficking
• Purity
• Poverty
• Swearing
• Divorce rates
• Drug trafficking
• Racial oppression 
• Child abuse
• The list goes on and on and on. 

There are so many things that make us angry. From that list above, all of those things make me angry. And hopefully they all make you angry. But which one is your real holy discontent? That one thing that you know you have to act on. 

For me, my holy discontent are:

Lazy Christians. Lazy Christians make me crazy. Lazy Christians is what I am so discontent with. I get so unbelievably angry when I see Christians turning the other cheek. I can't stand it. People who say "I am a Christian" and their actions don't line up with that, drives me absolutely insane. If you ever want to see me over the top angry, over the top upset, over the top hurt, just ready to blow...tell me about inconsistent people. Tell me about people who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and dishonor Him with their lifestyle. 

That's my holy discontent. It sends me over the edge and I'm through with it.

The label "Christian" appears to have become so obsolete. You may argue and say that the opposite is true, that more and more people are using it. I agree with you which is why I think it's become obsolete. I say, let people have that term. You want to call yourself a Christian, fine. I'll take on and use the term Christ follower. The label Christian is becoming obsolete to people who genuinely love Christ. And besides, Christ follower better explains Christianity anyway.

We aren't people who blindly follow Jesus or who just go to church because we're supposed to. Rather, we are people who genuinely are head over heels in love with Christ and when we accepted His gift of grace, love, and mercy, we became His followers.

So if you're a Christ Follower, don't be lazy. Be consistent. If you don't think it's okay to swear at church, it's probably not okay to swear anywhere. Whether you're at a family dinner, hanging out with your friends, or at church camp you should be consistent. If you don't think it's okay to dress in a certain way at church, it's probably not okay to dress like that anywhere (I'm thinking more of the "4 b's"--no boobs, butts, bras, or bellies for the girls).

Lazy, inconsistent Christ Followers pushes me over the edge.
What puts you over the edge?

Picture Challenge

I keep seeing this picture challenge. I am just going to do it here. And cheat and do it within a day or so. (Also, this post apparently started in March, hence the "March")

Day 1.

Fact 1. I love lists.
Fact 2. I'm not good at thinking on the spot.
Fact 3. I like rhymes and cliches.
Fact 4. When I'm at school, I get excited when I am in bed by 2am.
Fact 5. I am not a morning person.
Fact 6. I played soccer for twelve years.
Fact 7. I like driving with my music playing loudly.
Fact 8. I love Mountain Dew.
Fact 9. I have blonde hair.
Fact 10. I'm not a fan of change...in both regards.
Fact 11. If I'm asked a question I don't want to answer, I won't.
Fact 12. I'm not very clever, so thinking of 15 facts is rather difficult.
Fact 13. I love Apple products.
Fact 14. I rarely drink water.
Fact 15. I love puns.

Day 2. 
Me and Veronica. 
We've been pals since I was in fourth grade and she was in third. I had zero digital pictures of us until last week. I don't really know how to edit, and besides, cutting Austin out would just be mean! (Although he can count for something too, he's been in my life for eight years.)
Veronica though. I've been closest to her the longest. I love her a looooot and have close to 493902 memories with her.

Day 3. 
Cast of favorite show: Gilmore Girls. 
I have all 7 seasons on DVD. I'm watching them once again this summer. Good stuff.

Day 4.
Favorite night: Uhhh
There isn't one specific night that just stands out to me that was ultra spectacular. I tried to think of something creative or mildly clever to put instead, but nothing came to mind. I've been searching for pictures that at least resembled night but that didn't do much good either. So I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave this blank.

Day 5. 
Favorite memory: Colorado
If I remember correctly, this was our second year with Vail in CO for CIY. I think....my memory sucks. Which brings to my next point. I don't really have a favorite memory because I can't hardly remember anything. I don't really know why I chose this picture either, but I figured I already skipped Day 4, I can't skip another day. I suppose I can explain the picture. Essentially, we ate all of that pizza and drank all that soda..and then rolled down a grassy hill...and then went river rafting in the CO river. I don't remember much from this whole thing, which defeats the purpose of the whole favorite memory thing, but oh well...

Day 6. 
Trade places with: Cindy
I met Cindy when I was in South Africa. She's 13 and in 4th grade. She lives in a house that is less than the size of my room and my brother's room combined with 4 other people. She loves. She gives. She's compassionate. She longs to see more, do more. I want to trade places with her so she could do that. And then I could play more red light/green light and Simon says with her family and neighbors=)

Day 7.
Most treasured item: Mac
I love my Mac. It holds just about everything. I have bookmarks on it with my websites. I have journals. I have pictures. I have papers. I have my school. I have my passwords. You can find just about everything about me if you spent time with my Mac and browsed around on it. Plus, it's a Mac.

Day 8.
Picture that makes me laugh: Tell me about your experiences 
Hahahahahah. Oh my geeze. I don't remember much from this night, except that a few of us were up reallyyyy late. I found a marker (always dangerous) and wrote bits and pieces of our conversations on the whiteboard available. This was one of the results.

Day 9.
Gotten me through the most: Ah.
This was a really tough one. Aside from the fact that I love this picture, I want to use it as symbolism. (And also the person who took it has probably gotten me through the most, so it works.) I am the strongest when I have friends on either side of me (in this case in front and behind me) and I can follow, yet also lead. When a friend gives me the space to "lead the way" and "do what I need to do" and is willing to follow me and guide me, that's when I feel like I can really get through the rough things.

Day 10. 
Messed up things with: Sam and Kahle
I took that to mean who I had fun with and got in trouble with. Not like super ridiculous things. Just stupid, fun things. I got in trouble during class in high school with both of these fools in EVERY SINGLE CLASS I HAD WITH THEM. Holy moly. Kahle and I got multiple glaring looks. Sam and I had to stay after class and were "talked to".  In tenth grade, Kahle tried to teach me how to say "no" to a boy because I didn't want to go on a date with him. Senior year, Sam and I started laughing and the teacher came up to us and told us our assignment wasn't that interesting so there was no way we could be laughing if we were doing our work.

Day 11. 
Something I hate: Sex trafficking industry. 
I hate it. I hate that those who join in voluntarily believe that it's "the only option" or that that is "all they're worth". I hate that many are forced to join. I hate that people are lied to and manipulated. I hate that people are abused and abusive. I hate that people don't care about it. I hate that people make jokes about it. I hate that people throw around the words "pimp" and "slut" and "whore". I hate that it thrives. I hate that people are enslaved and people are enslaving.

Day 12. 
Something I love: My God
If I were to ever get a tattoo, it would be this. Hebrew for Yahweh (YHWH), Greek for Alpha and Omega, P and X are the first two letters of Christ in the Greek language, and the infinite symbol. Succinctly describes God.

Day 13.
Favorite Music: Hip hop
Okay, I know it asked for band/artist, but if I like it, it's my favorite. I opened my iTunes to see if I could answer this question...I couldn't. So I tailored it to something I can answer--my favorite type of music.

Day 14. 
Don't want out of my life: You?
Okay, I suck at this picture thing. I should have just picked a few days and done those. Like Kelly Clarkson sings, my life probably would suck without you (though I haven't any idea who "you" are). I don't really want people out of my life. Once I have them, I'm good with having them in my life for-ev-er (Sandlot style). But I'll figure it out if I don't have someone in my life anymore. For instance, I didn't want Jenny out of my life. She was my best pal (she competed with Veronica) since fourth grade and passed away when I was a sophomore in college. I miss her, but I deal. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, people are different than dogs. But I can't pick one person and I need a picture!)

Day 15. 
Before I die: Make a difference
I want to impact individuals and the world. I want to make a difference and change the world.

Day 16. 
Inspires me: Jilly
I'm trying to cover all my bases here throughout this picture challenge thing. Jill was my supervisor for two years. I got to see her graduate with her Master's degree just a few weeks ago. Jill pushed me and allowed me to grow. She called me out on things and she always stood by my side. She knew when I was beaten down and needed her to step in and she knew when I thought I was beaten down, but really I was strong enough to carry on and just didn't know it.

Day 17.
Recent impact: Thoughts
No explanation.

Day 18.
Biggest Insecurity: No. 

Day 19.
Little Ashley: 9 years old?

Day 20.
Travel: NYC
This seems like a place I'd love. Lights, sounds, city.

Day 21. 
Forget: How much I hate black and brown together when I see people I love wearing them together. 
I fear putting up a picture because black and brown together seriously irks me.

Day 22.
Better at: Talking
I thought about being "funny" and say something like "frowning" or "jumping on a pogo stick" or "drinking water". Read into this what you want.

Day 23.
Favorite book: Nicholas Sparks
Anything and everything by him. I have all of these books in the picture (actually my good, trickster of a friend does at the moment...) and then some.

Day 24.
Want to change: Marriage statistics
I want to change the world, yes. But I already kind of did that for a previous day (for the sake of this blog, not like in real life...I'm willing to work on changing the world on multiple days..not just one day..) In one way that can happen though is through marital stats. I wrote a whole paper about this and what i think we can do to start to change this. If you want to know more, just ask!

Day 25.
My day: Throwing paper clips
I got bored at work so I started throwing paper clips at the person who sits in the next cubicle. Yes, I'm very professional. And then when she left, I put a huge pile of paper clips on her desk. I'm excited for her to see it Monday!

Day 26.
Means a lot to me: Letters
I love notes and letters. I love mail. I love finding something under my door. I love words and written things.

Day 27.
Me and a family member: My broha

Day 28.
Something I'm afraid of: Eetf
Unscramble that. I don't want to write it. Hint: they go in shoes.

Day 29.
Makes me smile: Hugs
Okay, sometimes they make me cry, but they almost always make me feel better.

Day 30.
Someone I miss: Lisa!
Lisa, I miss Lisa! I met her Spring Break of 2010 and she went back to Germany in May. But for those 9 weeks or so, we got to know each other and over a year later, we still talk. I miss Lisa lots and lots.

21

July 17, 2011 will be my twenty-first birthday. I got to spend my 20th birthday in South Africa and had originally planned to spend m 21st in India. Since that's not happening (check out "India", posted on May 20, 2011), I need to figure something else out.

There have been two ideas thrown around:

• Vegas 
• Cliche? Maybe. But I do love Vegas. And I love cliches just as much.
• Disneyland
• It's like the opposite of a "grown up" place, so it's just as much of a cliche. Also, I love Disney a whole heck of a lot. 

As I was brushing my teeth tonight (literally, like 7 minutes ago, hence the post at 2am on a work night), another idea came to me of what I want to do. 

On my 20th birthday, I decided that I wanted this decade to be one that I spent loving people and loving Jesus. I wanted to be excited and be surrounded with people that love and support me and I want other people to know that I love and support them. 

So, sticking with cliches. I want to do at least 21 things for other people on my birthday. What those things look like or would be, I have yet to come up with (hey, you can help with that!), but that's what I want to do. Now, I can do that in California or Nevada (or elsewhere), sooo the "where" is still up in the air I suppose. 

I fear being 21 for so many reasons. But this idea excites me. I hope you can be excited with me and perhaps even partake in helping me accomplish this. (Talk about a great birthday gift!)

I realize this wasn't very explanatory, but give me a break--I have been up for almost 20 hours and just got this idea and haven't been able to think it through! 

India

Announcement: I am not going to India this summer. 


I hate double negatives (they are so confusing) but I think I have to use them for this..


Not reasons why I'm not going to India (in no particular order and not exhaustive): 

• God didn't provide
• God isn't big enough
• I "jumped the gun"
• I got scared
• I'm not strong enough
• I'm not good enough
• I don't think sex trafficking is a big deal
• I'm not a "good Christian"
• I didn't listen to God
• I don't care about the mission
• I don't care about the world
• God doesn't care
• God doesn't want me to help India

I'm sure you want more of an explanation. For now, that's all I can really give you. But that above list are all things that aren't true. God is big enough and He does care. I am strong, especially with Him and I do love the world and particularly what the team that is going to India is doing. I think sex trafficking is a huge deal and something that is on my heart. 

No matter what. No matter where I am. No matter what I do or don't do. I love my God. And I will serve Him.