- I don't have something set. Then, I at least was set in the idea of going to a university. Now, there are just 7 different options and then each of those options include 4239 more options.
- This is apparently more "real" than graduating high school. I won't be 18, I'll be 21. I won't just have a high school diploma, I'll have a Bachelor of Science degree. I'll be less and less dependent. I'm not supposed to settle for a job, but start searching for a career.
It's not like those aren't important questions. They're just annoying. Now, with that being said I don't necessarily mean to deter people from asking or caring about my future. (Though I do question how many people are asking just to make small talk or just to compare me to someone else they know and see how I measure up.) It's just that I'd be more okay with the questions if I actually had a solidified answer. I hate answering "I don't know" or with different possibilities. But I also hate that people just assume I haven't even thought about it if I don't have a for sure plan. A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me what I was doing after I graduate and I was taken off guard because, well, it's summer and the school year wouldn't have even started for another 10 weeks. And then I would have like 9 months in school before graduation. I had almost an entire year and when I said I wasn't sure, their response was more of a freak out and I was kind of told that I needed to get my butt in gear.
I then tried to explain some of the different options that I was really looking into, but they weren't having it. They told me I better figure it out really soon...like before November soon (I mentioned November for whatever reason, I don't remember why, and that apparently wasn't soon enough).
This is to adults everywhere: True/False
There are people who are gearing up graduation and haven't thought about their next steps. True
Most soon to be graduates think you have ulterior motives when asking questions about the future. True
Okay, I had more but I forgot them. I would suck at making true/false tests...Anyways!
I had a purpose to this entire post, but I forgot it due to all of my ranting. So I'll make up new points. These are they:
- The thing I hate most about graduating are all of the annoying questions about what's next.
- If I think somebody is asking about my plans for the future just so they can see how I measure up to other people in my place, I usually tell them a really impressive future plan. And it's fun to watch their face and response. I didn't do that too much in high school, only a few times. But I've gotten braver, so I've done it much more often in these last few weeks...and will continue to do so, I'm sure. (I've also gotten better at reading people, so that plays into my bravery.) Sometimes, I do the opposite and say, "Oh, I'm not really sure..I haven't really thought about it." Because that's also a lie.
- I don't mind the questions if someone genuinely cares.
- I don't mind engaging in conversation about various ideas, so long as it's not solely small talk or it turns into an interview, where I'm being asked several questions and feel the need to have a perfect response.
- College isn't over. I still have a year left, life is still happening right now. I have to plan for my future, yes, but I also have to live right now. If I'm going to be asked questions about the future, I want to be asked about something current too.
- Which reminds me of another thing. Throughout college, every single time I came home there were two questions I was always asked: How's college? Do you have a boyfriend? Also annoying questions.
Alright, this post had absolutely no point. Now I'm upset.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Ashley! You should consider re-packaging this post and submitting it to be published in Kristen's "What I Want You To Know" column. http://bit.ly/qMteuU
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I've been guilty of asking these questions to high school and college grads - mostly because I am genuinely curious about what is on their minds and hearts.
I'm curious: What questions do you think people should ask college students when they come home for summer/spring/winter break?
stephanie@metropolitanmama.net