I wrote in my journal awhile back that sometimes kindness is easy, but I'm tired of letting kindness win. I need justice to win, I need to know that there is a right/wrong. I don't want to be kind when I can be right. I want people to do what is right and to know how strongly I feel about that. So much so that I do the wrong thing.
I want to be someone who people can trust to be a moral compass, to make the right decisions, to be just, to be ethical, to follow the rules, and do the right thing. Sometimes I fear that if I'm too kind, too merciful, people will think I don't take a situation seriously, or that I care more about being nice than I do what's right, so I error on the side of truth. Grace without truth leads to people doing whatever they want. Truth without grace leads to too many rules and rebellion. It's not really a balance of grace and truth that I need, as much as it is an integration. Lead, love, and have relationships with grace, while never compromising truth.
One of my favorite things about genuine conversations is that they always push me to worship. They guide me to His feet, letting me settle and rest, and wrestle, and cry, and sing, and figure things out as they align with my God.
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