Sunday, July 17, 2016


The other day, I was having ice cream with one of the most incredible human beings I know. We talked about a lot of things, and one of them was this hardship that we both realize we face.

This idea, this question really of, 

Are we willing to invest in a hypothetical?

We talked about how we are intentional people, but how do you maintain relationships with those who like to be more spontaneous? What do you do when you don't feel fully connected? How do you develop and maintain deep, connected relationships as you grow older and life transitions take place? We talked about specific relationships we have been involved in and how now, there is some danger because we hold that as the standard for relationships; when we know how good it could be, we yearn for that, and then don't feel wholly satisfied.

I presented a specific issue I have and they essentially summed it up about investing in a hypothetical. It could be an amazing thing. Or it could just be completely draining and so utterly exhausting.

See, my personality type is pretty introverted. I'm pretty outgoing, but my energy levels are based on having time to myself, or having deep, meaningful relationships. So for some people, the option of potential strong, life giving relationships is totally worth it and not much of a question. For me, I have to look at how much energy I really have. And the outcome isn't a definite. If it were, I might be more willing.

I'm always looking at cost-benefit. I'm looking at the risk ratio. I calculate my conversations and relationships. Input and output. I do sometimes treat relationships like a math problem.

And for the last while, I've decided no, I'm not willing to invest in a hypothetical. But I think I just may be willing to reconsider. 

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