Sunday, May 15, 2016


Yada (Hebrew): To know and be known completely; to be chosen and pursued.

My relationship with Christ should be the most intimate relationship I have. And my close relationships should mirror this type of relationship, but my relationship with Jesus trumps all. At least it should and that's what I want...except it's not always what I want and I start choosing to be a "fan", rather than a follower. I have actively chosen to not engage with my Creator recently because I knew it would mean to give up some of the choices I've made. I have made a lot of bad choices lately. I have actively chosen things I knew I shouldn't. I have chosen jealousy over trust; knowledge over intimacy; fear over joy. Partially because it was just easier. But I've started to come face to face with those decisions and it's been tearing me up. Now, I'm at another one of those crossroads moments.

And I choose the rugged, glorious cross. Because a second chance is heaven's heart (RCE--"Second Chance").

"Fans choose knowledge; followers embrace intimacy."

Knowledge: Study, learn; it is valuable and important, but it cannot replace intimacy. Knowledge can be easier, but it's not as worthwhile if it's all we choose.

In all areas of my life, I have been choosing knowledge recently. It's wonderful to pursue knowledge, but in pursuit of it I have also chosen to resist intimacy. It's not how it has to be, but it's what I have chosen. And it's been wrecking me, because I know how purposeful and valuable and necessary intimacy is. Yet, I keep trying to shut it out. Because jealousy, fear, and knowledge have been easier to hang on to.

To be intimate and vulnerable. Yada. 

Intimacy requires vulnerability.
Yada with my Abba.
How beautiful to be fully known and wholly loved.

He knows me, He knows me, He knows me. He calls me to Him, again and again, despite my choices. And he forgives me and still calls me His child.

My child, my beloved, my daughter, my love. Be intimate and vulnerable. Come to me, come at my feet and give up your jealousy. Stay here, with me. Stay and grow in me. Then, go and have these relationships with others. Relationships of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, and self-control. That is what I have called you to. To have intimate, beautiful, vulnerable, full of life relationships. Not relationships with bitterness, jealousy, hurt, mistrust, anger, resentment, lies, and fear. Stop it. That is not what you were created for. You were created for my joy. You were created to honor me in all you do, especially in your engagement in relationships. So engage in relationships. Real ones. Be intimate and vulnerable. And trust in me. I love you, my dear. 

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