Being Human

The other day I said to my friend Ha my childhood was pretty great so I feel like I have no excuse for my issues. 

And in her beauty and wisdom and wonderfulness, she said, Your excuse is that you're human!

Part of the text exchange is here--

It's been a few days and I've been totally contemplating more about being a human. Not in the existential or philosophical way, but in the very real way of....what it means to be human. It's helped me look even more closely at Jesus and His humanity. 

The fact that the God of the universe chose to meet us exactly where we were at within all of our humanity is wild. The love of Jesus is incredible, the more I examine it. 

Anyways, back to my issues. I have lots of issues--I started writing them here and then quickly deleted them, because we don't need to go into that--but, on top of the issues, I then feel extreme guilt (and sometimes, shame) because I never felt like I had a reason to be the way I am. And so when my friend was just like, dude, you're a human. And in such a kind, nonchalant way. It's led me to really sit back and be like. Oh. 

Being a human includes the wrestling and the doubts and the questions and the worries and the confusion and the jealousy and the mistrust and the frustration and so on and so forth. 

Funny enough, the song that just came on is "Image of God" by We Are Messengers 

We fall apart

We all lose sight of Heaven

But still Your love is chasing us

We're so much more than flesh and blood 

We are made in the image of God

Knowing that Jesus was fully God and fully human, and that while I have the Holy Spirit, I'm still only human. I've been looking more and more at the scriptures and I see the times when Jesus also had doubts and worries and fears and didn't always fully share things. 

Anyways, I've thought about all of these things before. But this is one of the first times someone outside of myself I feel like gave me permission to just...be a human. Sometimes I don't realize I'm waiting for permission until someone gives it to me and they unknowingly did that for me the other day. 

I'm human.