IDGAF

I told my best friend that the other day I had the STRONGEST urge to straight-up party in Vegas. I'm talking party Vegas style--loud music, grinding, making out with random guys, getting drunk, the works. 

It was SUPER weird, because none of that is remotely close to me or what I do in real life. Nor is it just real at all. So when I had this urge, I was 1-extremely confused; 2-a little embarrassed, 3-confused. So confused that it warranted being listed twice with different levels of severity. I didn't want to tell anyone, but I'm getting so much better at telling people things and reaching out when my thoughts get wild (this time, in the literal sense of wild, I guess). 

Anyways, we realized that it was more of the urge to truly not give a f*** about anything. She sent that to me and a hilarious gif, so I felt immediately better. 

It led to a good, deeper conversation about the weight of so many things and responsibilities we carry, especially in the midst of a pandemic. I am so grateful for real friendships. Where I can be real about my super weird (not real) desires (but feel so real) and we can laugh about it, get the deeper meaning, and have hilarious conversations that also have meaning. 

Side note--the other day someone at work randomly said, "Ashley, you seem to have a lot of friends." And I was like..."No...I don't..." And they said, "Well, you seem to have really good friends; every time you talk about someone in your life or your friends, you can tell that they are really good." So, that's cool :)