“As iron sharpens iron, so does one person do for another” Proverbs 27:17
Awhile back a friend reminded me of that and they said “..and there may be some cuts in there. Hopefully they are few and far between and hopefully they aren’t too deep, but there will be cuts.”
Healthy relationships recognize the humanity aspect—and that’s really been on my heart lately.
I was talking with someone recently and they talked about the importance of grace, love, truth, and acceptance within a relationship. They can “take a sin with love”.
They gave the example of a married pastor in a church has even just one safe person that they are willing to say “Hey, there’s this person who has been flirting with me and I like the attention and it makes me feel good and I am attracted to them.” To be that honest and vulnerable about a situation and how it made them feel even if it’s “wrong”. And to actually be heard and loved and received. And then as I say “love people enough to go to them and meet them wherever they are…and love them enough to not let them stay there.”
To have relationships like that. We need these. Can you imagine if this was a staple? In the Church and in the world. How much heartache that would save so many people. To be real about a situation and about your feelings about it. And then to be met with love and grace and acceptance. Wholeheartedly.
Why don’t we do this? The overall answer is that we are human. Some people, I have learned, are actually well practiced at this. (Yes, there are real people who really love people deeply and are well practiced in forgiveness!) For the vast majority though, I think part of it may be fear of rejection and shame on the side of a person sharing. And for the person hearing/receiving the news—confused and scared.
It’s a practice. And one that we will get wrong at times and there will be cuts. It’s a practice to hear something from someone that you don’t like or agree with and respond with love and grace. It’s a practice to share something and not knowing how that person will respond.
Sometimes we will choose to put our walls up instead. Sometimes that’ll be wise and the discerning thing to do; other times it’ll be because we aren’t able to get past the fear.
Thank goodness we have the best example of all of this in Jesus. A friend of sinners, who loves deeply and wholly. Who shares Himself fully and honestly. Who welcomes us back over and over again. What a good, good God we have.
