Friday, February 19, 2016

Too Heated?

One time, someone told me that they don't like talking about God because those discussions always get too heated. Knowing that this person was an avid church goer and believed in God, I said, I think if it's something you really believe and are passionate about, it's worth talking about. It doesn't have to be heated nor does it have to (nor should it) turn into an argument or debate.

I've been really into this idea of being generous in our responses to others, to extend kindness and to be able and willing to have fruitful conversations about any topic. Now, I have some bias because I am a trained is literally my job to be able to dig deep and explore ideas with people in a non-judgemental and safe place, including those that I may not necessarily agree with. And sometimes I forget that while some of it does come naturally, I also went through a lot of school and training to have those kinds of conversations with people and that not everyone has that same experience.

I get frustrated not when people don't agree with me, but when there is no allowance for disagreements, no allowance for discourse or discussion. When passions are turned into arguments of "I'm right, you're wrong, shut up".

If something is on your heart, I think it's crucial you have a safe place to share it. And it's up to each of us to try to create a safe place for others. If you have a question, a thought, an idea, an opinion, find safe people to share it with. Those are the people who will listen, who will perhaps gently challenge you, who will encourage you to further your knowledge on a topic, who will ask questions, and above all, will still love you and still value you. They won't be people who you fear will gossip about what you shared, or people who will tell you you're a horrible person for thinking that, or people who you feel judged by. It's okay to not share with some people.

Share yourself with safe people. And the more of those types of relationships we create, the less heated conversations can be and the more we can learn and grow. 

No comments:

Post a Comment