Sunday, August 11, 2013

Shame

I'm finally starting to be able to read and watch TV! Right before this whole thing happened, I ordered some books...and I got them the day I fell. I haven't been able to read them and I have been super excited about them so I'm stoked that I'm able to start!

Book 1: I Thought It was Just Me (But It Isn't), Brené Brown
Basically, it's about shame. And as I've said several times, I'm not so great at actually talking about my shame. But this story was just great as far as right now. Also, today I learned I had a chance to see her speak, but didn't know it (story below)

Because I don't want to type all of it, this is a basic paraphrase (p. 74-76) and background:
Brené Brown (author) got super sick, and growing up that was an "unwanted reality". While her parents never shamed her for being sick and were empathetic towards others when they are, when they were sick, they were hard on themselves. 

"When they were sick, they toughed it out. They didn't slow down....I kept telling Steve, 'This can't be happening. I'm tough. I don't get sick.' Finally out of frustration, he lovingly held my face in his hands and said, 'Well, apparently you do get sick. And right now, you're not so tough. You're human like the rest of us. You really need to work through this--you're not going back to work for a couple of months. This is serious. You need to apply some of your own shame medicine right now.'"

"And as my experiences demonstrate, it doesn't have anything to do with what I say or how I treat others. I have to watch what I do and how I treat myself when I'm feeling sick. Being married to a compassionate physician helps. He often reminds me that 'being tough' is more about being lucky--that when illness strikes, toughness has nothing do with it. We're all vulnerable."


PS. Brené Brown spoke at the Willow Creek Summit, which is a GIANT global leadership summit, primarily for church leaders and such. Every church I've gone to talks about it, because it's giant and a big thing in church world. They broadcast it globally. One of the host churches is Church of the Resurrection, a mega church in KS, where my aunt works at and she invited me to go (it was this past Thursday and Friday), but that's when I was still feeling not super great, and I would feel guilty being there, and not at work. She didn't know the speakers, but today I was with her and she showed me her book and Brené Brown was there.  (http://www.willowcreek.com/events/leadership/speakers.asp)

PPS. The whole TV thing..turns out I can, but then the next day I cannot use technology at all. And I have to take frequent breaks still. Sunday, I had to take 5 "naps" (don't sleep, just rest). So, I guess I got too excited too early.

2 comments:

  1. So glad that you are able to read and watch tv again. Even if with watching tv meaning you can't use technology the next day. :-) You are an amazing woman and I'm very happy to see your progress through your blog. Keep us updated :-D

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  2. Sounds like a really good message!

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